Your one-stop-shop for self-indulgence, rage tantrums, and xenophobia is coming to town again, so be sure to stock up because you never know when another visit will come out of our asses. Mike hasn’t played anything but FFXI since our last show, Brian is still stuck on Vice City, and Eric hasn’t touched a controller at all, but thankfully the team over at OUYA has given us quite a bit to consider. Like “Is Canabalt in HD with a controller what I’ve been waiting for all my life?” And “Where do controllers come from?” You will leave a different person than when you entered. Smarter. Faster. Taller, even.

Are you sick and tired of video games being used as a scapegoat for every instance of a youth behaving violently? Or are you sick of gamers trying to stand around doe-eyed while they deny the involvement of video games in a violent person’s psyche? Maybe you’re opposed to Youtube offering to reveal your identity to the world in the name of a shiny & happy commenting section, or perhaps you are the Youtuber who feels like it’s about time we started holding people accountable for their flippant and condescending ways. No matter which side of the spectrum you stand on in these issues of marginal importance, you’re guaranteed to hear one of our members poorly representing your point of view on tonight’s GoR. Sit there and bunch your fists up while you curse about how one or all of us are totally missing the point. Then leave a hateful comment on our site. Then come find us and kill us. Until Youtube gives us your real name. Then you’re assed out. Cyber-justice baby.

Walking in on other people’s conversations. Talking smack across the chess board. Ultimate frisbee, soccer hooligans, and damsels in distress (and huge sunglasses). Passion. Intrigue. Suspense. A spine-tingling, hair-raising episode of GoR unlike any other, save (possibly) for the 40 or so episodes preceding this one. Come be part of the conversation. We can’t hear you and won’t reply, but you can pretend while you listen to us. Don’t be nervous, you’ll do just fine. We believe in you.

“Preview” ain’t nothing but another word for “spoiler”. So (not to disparage this summary) don’t even bother feeling us out this week, dive right in. Be a fly on the wall for Brian’s therapy session where he takes the first step towards rectifying his platinum-chasing problem; admittance. Ignore the fact that one therapist is bored with the tits and ass that he specifically purchased Lollipop Chainsaw for, and the fact that other can’t be reached for human contact unless it’s through an MMO. This is medical science at its finest. Behold our mastery.

Sometimes you need a little break. Like a weekend in Atlanta. Or 22/24 hours a day in an MMORPG. Or a 6-month-long backwards jaunt towards the roots of a game franchise. We finally managed to pry ourselves from the things we love though, and we recorded another show instead. It’s a worthwhile session too, complete with insinuated rape, killer nuns from the fifth dimension, and fake thugs eating Chick-fil-a out of Rolls Royces. We do not play on this show.

Whether your flavor of the day is a tasting platter of bacon strips, or Max Payne 3, GoR has got you covered. Enjoy your day off this week by relaxing and listening while we take control of the old jabber-machines and conduct the closest thing to a review we’ve ever come and likely will for some time. Especially since Mike has relapsed into his old MMO ways and will likely wind up in a clinic soon. Enjoy that discussion too. It’s all about feeling better about your life. Enjoy.

One day early this week, as Brian will be busy tomorrow, participating in the spread of popular food culture and anti-social cell phone discourse. Before he parties like an Iron Chef-star though, we manage to fill some time taking a giant crap on a website whose journalistic responsibility manages to stand out, even in the cluster**** that is currently referred to as “gaming journalism”. Congratulations to the lowlives.

Have a special Mother’s Day edition of GOR. On us. Listen to us talk about things moms love, like…. well, Mother’s Day. And what to do & not-do on it. Also our broken PS3s, and how they sometimes become someone else’s fortune. There is even an educational section for moms, all about how video games are afraid to kick out asses like they used to. It’s off-beat for us, but screw it. Today is about mommy. And MCA.

We’re back after our 1-week hiatus, despite unpopular demand. A lot has happened in the last two weeks. Eric ate silly foam food landed a new job, Mike learned the true meaning of “dim sum” at a Queens casino, and Brian discovered that GTA IV is not universally praised as the crowning achievement of the series. We’re two weeks wiser (or at least older) than you knew us, and back to kick up more dust and swear unnecessarily & passionately about topics of little consequence. We missed you too.

PAX was good to us last week. It gave Brian plenty of things to obsess over, it gave Eric plenty obsessive Brian-traits to point out, and it gave Mike all the cosplay he could wave a camera at. It was a lovely trip in a very hostile city, but it’s back to reality for us this week though, save for plans to cosplay next year. We’re back to staring the possibility of a vastly changed next-gen home-console industry in the face, and coming up with our own bomb shelters to weather the storm. In Mike’s case it’s shelter in the form of a capable PC which he has just begun to fashion with help from his friends. Stuck on the first puzzle? We’ll help you out: Click the link.